Another season of Game of Thrones has come and gone, and now we’re left waiting TWO WHOLE YEARS for a conclusion! D&D have a Joffery-like penchant for cruelty! However, there is a benefit to this interminable intermission between seasons: two years of wild-ass speculation! I’ll get to that further down, but for now here’s my hot-take on GOT season seven:
They’re pulling their punches. Characters, who used to be terminated with extreme prejudice, now dodge dragon fire like it’s child’s play. Even people on the fringe of the main storyline, like Tormund or Bronn, seem to strut around Westeros under divine protection. It’s an odd phenomenon for a series that has killed off its main protagonist on three separate occasions!
And tonight was a perfect example of this strange occurrence. After the death of one of the series most hated characters- Little Finger- I fully expected Jaime to be cut down at the hands of the undead Clegane. It would be poetic irony, after giving the audience some long-awaited justice, to rob us of our darling Jaime. Yet, after calling Cersei a liar, he walked out of that map room unscathed.
I’m not saying the episode or the season was bad, but it felt unfinished. This wasn’t a season finale. It was the mid-point break of the final season. I guess everyone who’s left alive will have a major role to play in season eight. Even Podrick? I guess we won’t know for another TWO YEARS! Until then I’ll leave you with what I know you really want: PREDICTIONS!
Prediction 1: Dany Dies
Season seven brought us the culmination of the Jon and Dany romance, and I, for one, think that this may spell doom for Dany. It’s pretty clear that Jon and the Night King will face off in the final season, but what does that leave for Dany? We saw tonight that the Night King has mastered the art of dragon riding. Seems like they’re priming us for some sweet aerial battles between the shows only two licensed dragon pilots. And, because Jon was born to suffer, I think there’s a good chance that one of these battles will lead to the loss of his new-found love as Dany will sacrifice herself for the greater good.
Prediction 2: Dany is Pregnant
This is a no-brainer. Why else would we be given a scene where Dany explains to Jon a witch informed her she was barren? Jon raises skepticism in Dany’s mind, and by the end of the episode, it was all incest on the high seas! I think it’s safe to assume we have another Targaryen in the making.
Prediction 3: Viserion is Jon Snow’s dragon
Tonight we saw the Night King take full advantage of his newly acquired weapon as he used Viserion to collapse The Wall, but where do this dragon’s loyalties truly lie? Viserion is an ice dragon now. That play’s in with Jon’s Stark lineage. Will the Night King be defeated by his own arrogance in believing that he can control a dragon? Does he even have a license to fly that thing? We all know that only a Targaryen can ride a dragon, and a Targaryen of the North- like Jon- seems tailor-made to ride an ice dragon.
Prediction 4: Cleganebowl!
“Remember me? Yeah, you do. You’re even uglier than I am now. What did they do to you? Doesn’t matter, it’s not how it ends for you, brother. You know who’s coming for you. You’ve always known.”
I mean, the quote speaks for itself.
Prediction 5: Sansa: The Queen in the North
This really isn’t a prediction. Just a statement of fact. Jon isn’t the King in the North- he’s the King– but Sansa has shown herself to be her father’s true heir. Especially when she exacted that sweet, sweet justice all over Little Finger’s sorry ass. Do your thing, Sansa!
Prediction 6: Cersei dies giving birth
Honestly, this one seems like a stretch. It’s too boring a death for a character who is so fun to hate, but the irony of Cersei being killed by her child after indirectly bringing on the deaths of all three of her children wouldn’t be lost on the audience.
Prediction 7: Tyrion gets his groove back
I think we can all admit that Tyrion was off his game this season. His botched military campaign spelled disaster for Dany’s Westorsi allies. I, for one, miss the old Tyrion. The one who was firing crossbow bolts into his own father’s chest, but there’s still hope! Tyrion’s at his best when he’s pitted against his own family, and he has a perfect foil in Cersei next season.
Well, that’s a wrap on season seven, but don’t worry friends it’s only TWO FREAKING YEARS UNTIL SEASON EIGHT! What the hell D&D?